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I've 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was
standing in line at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because
I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road
licking my dick and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??