2 gamle kammerater, Poul Erik og Jens, mødtes en dag på et værtshus. De kom i snak, og efter et stykke tid siger Poul Erik: "Jeg kender alle".
Jens : "Gu' gør du da ej".
Poul Erik : "Nævn en person jeg ikke kender"?
Jens : "Otto Leisner, ham kender du ikke".
Poul Erik ringer til Otto Leisner og giver telefonen til Jens, der spøger om han kender en ved navn Poul Erik.
Otto : "Ork ja, han var min bedste ven i skolen".
Det var lige godt satans, tænkte Jens.'
Jens : "Poul Nyrup, ham kender du ikke".
Samme svar fra Poul Nyrup : "Poul Erik, han har jeg drukket mange bajere med gennem tiden".
Sådan fortsatte det hele dagen. De to kammerater beslutter at rejse på ferie til Italien sammen. På turen kommer de til Rom, hvor Paven holder en stormesse fra balkonen på Peters Kirken. Poul Erik siger til Jens, at han lige vil gå op og hilse på Paven, som han også kender.
Et øjeblik senere står Poul Erik oppe ved side af Paven. Poul Erik spejder ud over den store menneskemængde for at få øje på Jens. Poul Erik får øje på Jens og vinker til ham. Pludselig besvimer Jens, hvorefter Poul Erik skynder sig ned til ham.
Poul Erik : "Hva' skete der Jens" ?
Jens : "Da du stod der ved siden af Paven, vendte en tilfældig italiener sig om mod mig og spurgte : Hvem fanden er ham der står ved siden af Poul Erik" ?
2 gamle kammerater, Poul Erik og Jens, mødtes en dag på et værtshus. De kom i snak, og efter et stykke tid siger Poul Erik: "Jeg kender alle".
Jens : "Gu' gør du da ej".
Poul Erik : "Nævn en person jeg ikke kender"?
Jens : "Otto Leisner, ham kender du ikke".
Poul Erik ringer til Otto Leisner og giver telefonen til Jens, der spøger om han kender en ved navn Poul Erik.
Otto : "Ork ja, han var min bedste ven i skolen".
Det var lige godt satans, tænkte Jens.'
Jens : "Poul Nyrup, ham kender du ikke".
Samme svar fra Poul Nyrup : "Poul Erik, han har jeg drukket mange bajere med gennem tiden".
Sådan fortsatte det hele dagen. De to kammerater beslutter at rejse på ferie til Italien sammen. På turen kommer de til Rom, hvor Paven holder en stormesse fra balkonen på Peters Kirken. Poul Erik siger til Jens, at han lige vil gå op og hilse på Paven, som han også kender.
Et øjeblik senere står Poul Erik oppe ved side af Paven. Poul Erik spejder ud over den store menneskemængde for at få øje på Jens. Poul Erik får øje på Jens og vinker til ham. Pludselig besvimer Jens, hvorefter Poul Erik skynder sig ned til ham.
Poul Erik : "Hva' skete der Jens" ?
Jens : "Da du stod der ved siden af Paven, vendte en tilfældig italiener sig om mod mig og spurgte : Hvem fanden er ham der står ved siden af Poul Erik" ?
Det er sku god humor vandango!
Oprettet af mugge d. 19/03-2014 08:30
#5
Aldrig har jeg grint så meget , det er humor Vandango, hold op den var sjov.
A man walks into a crowded bar with a loaded gun and shouts "who's been f****** my wife?" - voice in the back shouts "
You don't have enough bullets".....
My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive. Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your t*ts cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.
A farmer gets a phone call from his son.
"I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive."
"Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it."
About 20 minutes later he gets another call..."
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
The Holy Land
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.
A sign read: 'Don't miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign
'Don't miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!
He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know
something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts
'Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.
A sign read: 'Don't miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign
'Don't miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!
He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know
something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts
'Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'
One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, totally naked woman sitting in the back seat.
"Where to?" he stammered.
"Waterloo Station," answered the woman.
"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?"
The driver replied, "Well, ma'am, I can't help noticing that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare?"
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does this answer your question?"
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller
