. Det er fanme alverdens ting man kan få lavet nu om dage. 
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 Arbejdstilladelse forlængelse, min tur...
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| Boes |
Lagt på d. 08/07-2012 17:20
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 Ekspert medlem  Antal indlæg: 2688 |
Skrevet af en af vennerne i BKK post idag. Bedre end jeg selv kunne have formuleret det. Skift Bangkok ud med Krabi, så stemmer alt på en prik, bortset fra at jeg kun betaler 120 Bath og sygeplejersken fixer alt på under 2 minuter..... På under 2 minuter har jeg fået klarhed over at jeg ikke lider af .. elefantiasis, syfilis. tuberculose, spedalskhed og at jeg desuden er fuldstændig tilregnelig... SUPERSYSTEM.... THE STORY SO FAR: It's work permit renewal time, and your columnist has been hit with an edict to prove he doesn't suffer from elephantitis, leprosy, tuberculosis, syphilis and insanity. The first four are a walkover. The last? NOW READ ON! Picture the scene: An attractive Thai lady, dressed in a crisp white nurse's uniform, approaching me in the hospital reception with a broad, warm smile. I watch her as if she is walking in slow motion. As her slender figure strides elegantly towards me, she clutches an envelope. And once she is near, she holds up the envelope and tilts her head ever so slightly to the side. "Good news, Khun Andrew," she chimes. "You don't have syphilis." Her ecstasy is unbridled; is she yearning to announce the results over the loudspeaker? Such was the surreal scene I was party to last week in an inner-city hospital, one of those Thailand moments etched forever into my consciousness. From my aspect, her announcement makes me look up from my logic puzzle magazine with quizzical ignorance. Like I was supposed to have syphilis? Are these results, while clearly pleasing to you, somewhat unexpected? What is it about my physicality that reeks of sexually transmitted infection? Ah, but I am jumping the gun, dear reader. We need to go back an hour or two before this scene. It was a difficult drive from my mansion in urban chic Samut Prakan to the inner-city hospital I chose to obtain my doctor's certificate, a new stipulation that constitutes part of my work permit renewal papers. Sometime between July, 2011, and now, the authorities here became worried that Thailand would be overrun by elephantitis-afflicted maniacal syphilitic lepers who had also picked up tuberculosis. Before they came to Thailand, of course. How else do you explain a doctor's certificate guaranteeing I don't suffer from any of the "big five"? Worse _ how was I going to ask for such a document with a straight face? Asking for five separate documents might have been a little more sane. But lumping them all into one? Anybody asking for such a document would have to be insane _ and insanity, remember, is one of the "big five". Besides, I was very kreng jai of my doctor's time. Thai doctors don't like to hang around their patients too long, and I don't blame them. Sometimes one practitioner has to see an entire waiting room of sniffing, coughing locals. Along comes Andrew Biggs in the middle of those sniffers and coughers. Can you imagine the doctor's patient affliction list for that day? Cold. Flu. Flu. Cold. Backache. Cold. Elephantitis/Leprosy/Syphilis/Tuberculosis/Lunacy. Flu. Flu. Cold. And without harping on the subject how would a Thai doctor I'd never met before be able to guarantee my sanity? I have lifetime friends who would never commit to that. As is often the case, my fears were unfounded. I forgot the most important mitigating factor. This is Thailand. Of course we have such a single document. It turns out this is a regular document required not just by wayward expats eking out a living in the Land of Smiles _ biding their time until some statute of limitations runs out back home _ but by everybody applying for work. My first indication of this was upon entering the hospital. These days the better hospitals around town employ public relations officers to welcome their patients. Mine was a relatively young man with long eyelashes, wearing a jacket with sleeves a little too short. "May I help you?" he recited, straight out of English for You. I took a deep breath and brought out the same official document I reprinted on this page last Sunday. "You're not going to believe this," I started to say, "But I'm renewing my work permit and ..." He didn't bat an eyelash as he cut me off. "Yes. Follow me, please." I was led down the hospital hallways to a waiting room. To my surprise, this medical certificate is not so bizarre and unheard of in Thailand. It's the opposite, a standard procedure for nearly everybody who works in Thailand, both local and expat. (Three days later, a Thai friend who started work at a major department store showed me his application. He is required to get exactly the same certificate. This is what I get for staying with companies for long periods of time _ ignorance about the job application process.) The young man strode off, his sleeves permanently gripped around his forearms, and I was left alone in the waiting room. Within 10 minutes I was getting a blood test for syphilis, the results of which I'd know in an hour. In the meantime, I could entertain myself with my logic puzzles magazine and a quick visit to the doctor. The doctor I saw turned out to be really nice. We got on like a house on fire. "What's your name?" she asked me, and I told her. "Do you have any pre-existing conditions?" she asked me, and I told her. She made me take some deep breaths as she listened to my chest. "You're clear," she said. "The syphilis results will be ready in 45 minutes. You can wait outside." I'd been in that room exactly three minutes. "But how do you know I'm clear on all counts?" I asked her. She smiled and took a deep breath. "You don't have elephantitis. That's something I would notice upon your body. It's the same with leprosy and tuberculosis. These are afflictions with obvious physical symptoms. As for syphilis, that result is on the way." "That leaves my, er, sanity," I said. My doctor rolled her eyes. "We have been told that by asking a patient's name and medical history, if the patient can answer properly then the patient is considered sane," she said, with resignation in her voice. "My sanity is based on two questions?" I asked incredulously. "Can I speak off the record?" my doctor asked. "Of course," I said. "This remains just between you and me, within these four walls. Your comments won't be published anywhere." "Then I'll be truthful with you. The whole certificate is ridiculous. I mean, why is immigration singling out diseases which are either controllable, visually evident or simply no longer a threat? You can control syphilis these days, for example, and be able to function normally." "But the insane part," I said, realising I doth protest too much. She threw up her hands. "What can I do? The Medical Council has instructed us on what to ask. Who am I to complain?" I was enjoying my conversation with this doctor, but was also aware there was a waiting room full of coughers and sniffers she had to see, so I left her in peace. With 40 minutes to kill, I went outside and shared the waiting room with a dozen sick people and my logic puzzles magazine. In that time I paid the bill, which came to a grand total of 315 baht. That's right. Ten American bucks for five diseases. That syphilis test cost me two dollars. Not long after, the beautiful young nurse appeared in slow motion with the envelope in hand. I was syphilis free! Not to mention showing no signs of elephantitis, leprosy or tuberculosis. Oh, and did I forget to mention? I'm sane, dear reader. The best two dollars I could have ever spent. I'm sane! If only we could say the same about the system. 15 people liked / 1 people disliked this article Did you know? You can introduce your kids to edutainment reading with our Student Weekly magazine: Thailand's only all-English entertainment and education magazine for teens and all ages. About the author columnist Writer: Andrew Biggs Position: Writer "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein |
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| hugoboerge |
Lagt på d. 09/07-2012 00:56
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 Ekspert medlem Antal indlæg: 5534 |
En god artikel over 2 soendage. |
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